Unfortuntely, as I got older and into my early teenage years and started hanging with the wrong crowds I found myself a very very troubled young kid. After being given a few slaps on the wrist, the courts eventually ordered me to go to a boys group home/ranch in Oregon City for a 12-18month treatment program.They also put me on 2 years probation. I was 15.
Once into the group home I noticed how immature many of the boys were, they had a lot of trouble obeying the staff, and threw temper tantrums frequently. I didn't have these kinds of problems, I didn't have any sever attention deficit disorders I just had issues with making bad decisions and hanging with the people that were a bad influence on me. Very quickly I snapped out of it, and had a "wake up call" as I was laying in bed one evening about a week into my stay. I had finally realized I was headed down a wrong path...thinking of all the people that had been hurt or affected by my actions. That night I promised myself that I would find a way to work my way out of this place within 6 months. I wasn't going to be the bad child my parents were embarrassed to talk about, I wasn't going to harm others or their property like I had been guilty of doing without remorse so many times, I wanted to be a good person.
Man I worked my butt off. I did everything in treatment above and beyond what was expected of me. My behavior and actions in the group home were "poster boy" material. I talked to counselors and found out all the little steps that needed to be completed to finish the entire program, and was one, two, three steps ahead at all times. Besides issues with alcohol and smoking pot, and hanging with older kids who had terrible track records with the courts, I was diagnosed by my main counselor with "impulsive decision making".
A lot of our conversations were based on my impulsive decisions and why I did not think things through. On my own I took initiative and decided to make a secret journal of all the decisions I made throughout the each day to see if they were "impulsive" or "thought through" decisions. I did this for two weeks, jotting down in the journal at the end of each day all of the dozens the decisions that had been made to make it through that day.
After two weeks of keeping this journal I finally showed it to my counselor, and I'll never forget the look on her face as she opened it up to see what was in it. To her surprise that one of her kids cared that much about their treatment and was holding himself accountable. She actually cried in front of me, in turn that made me cry. Making someone so happy that they cried was an unbelievable feeling at my young age. I had become so used to making people mad or sad, but now I knew I was doing the right thing. It felt so good to make people proud, I knew I did not want to go back to the person that I had once become, ever again.
Fast forward a few more months and I had completed the entire program and was being released from the boys home after only a 4 months stay. I had completed the program faster than anyone had in the group home's 15 year history. During those 4 months I sacrificed a lot.... when all the kids that didnt really care were goofing off during leasure time and playing games or sneaking out to smoke cigarettes, I was writing essays and completing questionaires that would have to be done eventually to complete the program. I worked the kitchen and served all the meals which earned me extra points, I volunteered for yard work around the ranch, did every little extra thing I could. I had won the staff over and they beleived in me, and as long as I was working hard at it, they let me continue to get ahead of the curve. My hard work had paid off..... I was going back home
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